|Reflections on the Life Giving Experience of Having Cancer
by Jeannette Sullivan
It came to me in my darkest moments,
an expensive gift that only cost time.
Anger and hatred are far more malignant than cancer.
Walk with it and learn much that is beautiful.
Go gently and embrace it as a friend for it renews the soul.
Do not ask why me. Ask why not me.
My Guide is the strength and courage of those who have helped me learn to love all the more because of it.
I am privileged to be chosen to discover another dimension of God through this trial.
It has brought the madness to an abrupt halt.
I was slowly dying and it has given me life again.
I need this struggle so I can understand it in others.
The rocky road has helped me to tread carefully.
It’s a Guiding Hand that gently points me in the direction of Life.
Let it make the Spirit triumph.
What my body has lost my Spirit gains and that is what matters in the eternity of things.
A Reflection on Grief and Illness
I seek its home deep within the malignancy of my soul
Guided by the fear and the uncertainty of my demons.
But it has no home
For it is a journey, nourished by time to understanding, love …
It takes me by the hand calmly, solemnly, kindly …
Trust, it says. Have courage.
I ask, Where am I bound?
It does not reply
For there is much to do, much to be.
Like a phoenix it soars beyond my fears taking me to the promised land of my being, rich and fertile… I am cradled and nurtured to new awareness, to new life… slowly, gently…
It is my home, the destination from whence I came.